Welcome to this week’s Master Your Craft post! Last year, we walked you through every step from getting the big idea through polishing your finished novel.

Now we’re talking about what to do when you’re ready to put that book out in the world. Last week we heard from Agent Hilary Harwell on querying from an agent’s perspective. This week, we’re going to talk about rejection.

No. Nope. Not gonna happen. NOPE.

Rejection in publishing is usually worded a bit more fancily than that, but at the end of the day, “just not for me” still means a big fat “NO” to your bookish dreams.

Unfortunately, rejection happens at every single stage of the publishing journey, so that means we’ve got to find ways to cope that don’t involve (too much) binge-eating and self-loathing. Here are some of the Pennies’ best tips for dealing with rejection:

Richelle: I try (and it is an ongoing process!) to look at every “no” as one step closer to a “yes.” When I was querying, I would immediately send out a new query after getting a rejection. On requested material, the rejections can sting a bit more, so I would send out two new queries to double my chances of a “yes.” I have used some less healthy coping mechanisms (M&Ms and Netflix!), but I try to keep the big picture in mind. I also think it is A-OK to take a break. People advise persistence a lot in writing, but that doesn’t mean non-stop. Sometimes it is crucial for my mental and physical health to take a vacation from rejection!

Jessica: Rejections are hard every step of the way, but I like to remind myself that either that person isn’t the right fit or (when the rejection comes with a solid rationale) that it’s a chance to improve my craft. Usually, I give myself some time (anywhere from a few minutes to the rest of the day) to wallow in my misery, and then I get back to doing what I do–I write.

Julie: I take lots of reading and self-care breaks when rejection starts to get me down. And I always make sure I have an exciting new project to work on before I go out on submission so that I can distract myself from inbox crickets and the inevitable rejections. But I also try to inoculate myself against rejection by sending lots of things out. Not just books, but short stories, essays, poems, and grant applications. I know it might sound like that would create MORE rejection, but rejection on a shorter work stings a lot less than rejection on a novel, and having multiple shorter pieces out there makes me feel like I have more control of the process. I’m lucky to have a few friends and mentors who are really good at pep talks, so I reach out when I’m feeling blue.

Halli: One rejection, no big deal. Several rejections – here comes the self doubt. The first thing I do is read a saved email from someone who loved my work. My current go to emails are from agents I respect. If they loved my writing then I must be doing something right. The second thing I do is open one of my many idea notebooks and start jotting down ideas for new stories. This helps me keep my brain active and my mind off dwelling on the past and looking to the future.

Rebecca A: Yes to all of the above, especially the next great project! My querying tip is to have a folder for queries in your email app. Getting a rejection is one thing, having it hang out there in my inbox, a constant reminder of the “no,” is another. I log the rejection in my query tracking sheet, then file the email and *poof*, it’s gone. I can dig into that folder if I need a reminder of what I sent a particular agent, but the constant reminder is gone.

Mark: Rejection? what rejection… Hm. Since I’m in the thick of querying and feeling more worried all the time, let’s see. I find myself trying to breathe. Just take long, slow breaths over and over. As Jesmyn Ward said, you can breathe through anything. Otherwise I try to avoid Twitter, which is nothing but watching painful headlines and seeing “other people’s highlight reels.” I also focus on my family. And on things I enjoy. I walk. I paddleboard. I bike through the city. I try try try to focus and gain momentum on my new project, even though it’s not in good shape yet and occasionally makes me feel even more like a failure. I try try try to remember that on this long path, I’m getting good attention. I have made friends with booksellers and librarians because we love books. My journey hasn’t yet given me some of the things I eventually want, but I’m farther along the path than I was a year ago. This actually helps–writing these thoughts down. It gets them out of my head. I know a couple people who do little love letters to themselves each night. They read their letter first thing in the morning before getting back to work. It’s a good reminder that we are our harshest critics and have to be gentle with ourselves. I haven’t tried the letter technique yet, but since we just returned from vacation, I’ve been extra hard on myself so I might start tonight.

Laurel: Yes to everyone else’s comments: sending out lots of different things, gentleness with ourselves, and I know we’ve talked about having a rejection quota as a goal for querying before. What’s interesting is how rejections have changed even while they’ve stayed the same. Oddly, I think my family finally realized I was serious about writing when they saw the stack of envelopes with rejections. It was proof of effort. These days, no one knows if I’m working unless I tell them. That makes it harder. It’s hard sometimes when I don’t “even” get a rejection. That can easily feel like “not worthy of a response” so I have to watch out for that “writerly lie.” Actively writing is always the best defense for me. It’s also hard to be patient when I don’t have anything that’s ready to be rejected. Getting rejections means you’re in the game, as hard as it can be sometimes.

Kate: I keep a “Props” document, where I paste in nice comments people have made about my writing. I open it up on the self-doubt days for a little boost.

Marty: I really love Mark’s idea of focusing on our successes, rather than our rejections. I’m part of a local romance author group and at each meeting, we announce and then congratulate each other for every step on the journey, including rejection. Because a rejection means you have a finished product and you put yourself out there. Personally, when I get a rejection, I take a long walk. And I try to focus on my larger goal of being published, seeing my book out in the world, and less on the tiny speed bumps I hit along the way. And, as others have said above, having something new to work on really does reduce the sting.

Remember: Rejection happens. But it doesn’t have to derail you.

Ready for more craft advice on writing middle grade or young adult fiction? Head back to our Master Your Craft page where you’ll find dozens of more topics to choose from!